film: February 2008 Archives
A year or so ago, I was laid up sick on the couch, watching Van Helsing, because nothing else was on and, let's face it, everyone I know expected me to. Not much was getting through the fever and medicine head beyond some really funny accents and unjustified plot developments - did they go through a mirror to the Ukraine for a Halloween party or something? - yet I was simultaneously disinterested in and vaguely angry at the whole thing. It seemed like a whole lot of money and some impossibly pretty faces wasted on nothing.
At some point, however, a very clear thought shot through the fog like a lightning bolt:
This is probably exactly how everybody else in the world felt while they were watching The Mummy.
Not me, though. I enjoyed director Stephen Sommers' first high-profile outing (Deep Rising shouldn't really count, should it? Shudder) both times I paid to see it in the theater. And the DVD regularly finds its way into my player when I'm in need of something to occasionally glance at while I'm doing something else, or I just plain can't sleep.
Why? Click through for the justification.
Continue reading Really, Really Bad Movies I Love, And Own: The Mummy.
I enjoy great film. Seriously, I really do - didn't you notice how I didn't make the "film" plural? That denotes inherent snootery.
But I also love shitty movies. Not shitty movies with absolutely no redeeming values, mind you; there's no room in my brain or DVD collection for the Rush Hour movies, or Delta Farce (if you enjoyed Delta Farce, I've got a garage and a custom-cut length of garden hose waiting for you, your car and your favorite mix tape), or any African-American comedian in a fat suit, or even Plan 9 From Outer Space, which deserves none of the campy, ironic accolades afforded it. Having said that, however, there are flicks in my entertainment center that no one will admit to enjoying except me. Lots of 'em, actually. But there are reasons why I like each and every one of them - mitigating circumstances, if you will, that I feel raise them above the the status of the merely Eszterhasian. They're bad movies, sure, but there's something about them that's interesting or engaging or hilarious enough to make them worth a second or seventh or thirty-third look; it's like a car wreck where there's all kinds of impressive damage, but nobody gets hurt.
So I'm going to champion these, erm, champion-less, differently abled motion pictures here at dirtytricks until I run out of movies, or my attention wanders, or Becks tells me that people are openly mocking her at work. Click through to read the first run-down, on about the ninety-second movie to put a "twist" on Jaws:
But I also love shitty movies. Not shitty movies with absolutely no redeeming values, mind you; there's no room in my brain or DVD collection for the Rush Hour movies, or Delta Farce (if you enjoyed Delta Farce, I've got a garage and a custom-cut length of garden hose waiting for you, your car and your favorite mix tape), or any African-American comedian in a fat suit, or even Plan 9 From Outer Space, which deserves none of the campy, ironic accolades afforded it. Having said that, however, there are flicks in my entertainment center that no one will admit to enjoying except me. Lots of 'em, actually. But there are reasons why I like each and every one of them - mitigating circumstances, if you will, that I feel raise them above the the status of the merely Eszterhasian. They're bad movies, sure, but there's something about them that's interesting or engaging or hilarious enough to make them worth a second or seventh or thirty-third look; it's like a car wreck where there's all kinds of impressive damage, but nobody gets hurt.
So I'm going to champion these, erm, champion-less, differently abled motion pictures here at dirtytricks until I run out of movies, or my attention wanders, or Becks tells me that people are openly mocking her at work. Click through to read the first run-down, on about the ninety-second movie to put a "twist" on Jaws:
Continue reading Really, Really Bad Movies I Love, And Own: Deep Blue Sea.
