Betrothed! Part 4: The Reality TV - Wedding Industrial Complex
I haven't watched all of the cable programs devoted to rubbing the public's nose in the fact that not everybody can afford a quarter-of-a-million-dollar wedding. At least, I hope I haven't. I have enjoyed/endured several on various channels devoted to different-yet-the-same demographics (women's lifestyle, other women's lifestyle), however, and at first glance, they seem to be covering The Big Day from admirably disparate perspectives.There's the one about weddings you'll never have, but may envy from your position among the huddled masses.
Theres the one about weddings of people just like you, provided you've managed to make something of yourself.
There's the one about how the weeks leading up to a wedding apparently turn the woman to be married into a Japanese freakshow allegory for nuclear-age vigilance.
There's the one that seems to imply, more often than not, that Canadians can't budget properly.
But below the surface, all of the wedding programs I've seen offer subtle evidence that cable networks, reality television producers, fashion designers, wedding planners, crystal bead manufacturers, florists, usurious bands, lighting professionals and clueless affluent couples are conspiring to send starry-eyed fiances everywhere the same subliminal message:
Spend more money.
That's the message all of these shows seem to be sending to brides-to-be. You know the rant, everybody on TV is spending the kind of money that makes Steve Martin's freakout in Father of the Bride seem quaintly naive. And hell, if you've got it, spend it. At the same time, Joey Cocktail played football in the sand at his wedding, and as far as I can tell, nobody died of embarrassment. Creativity still counts for something, and paying a wedding planner ten grand isn't creative, it's retarded. Like I said before, I don't want the board shorts/keg beer/my-band-plays wedding. I want Becks and I to plan an experience that everybody will enjoy, but more importantly, that we'll remember fondly for the rest of our lives. And you know I'll disclose the budget for our wedding whenever the hell we arrive at one. But where's the cable-TV show about couples who did it their way, on a realistic budget for these wallet-straining times, with verve and smarts and personality? CHALLENGE!
Spend more money.
That's the message all of these shows seem to be sending to brides-to-be. You know the rant, everybody on TV is spending the kind of money that makes Steve Martin's freakout in Father of the Bride seem quaintly naive. And hell, if you've got it, spend it. At the same time, Joey Cocktail played football in the sand at his wedding, and as far as I can tell, nobody died of embarrassment. Creativity still counts for something, and paying a wedding planner ten grand isn't creative, it's retarded. Like I said before, I don't want the board shorts/keg beer/my-band-plays wedding. I want Becks and I to plan an experience that everybody will enjoy, but more importantly, that we'll remember fondly for the rest of our lives. And you know I'll disclose the budget for our wedding whenever the hell we arrive at one. But where's the cable-TV show about couples who did it their way, on a realistic budget for these wallet-straining times, with verve and smarts and personality? CHALLENGE!
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